The Sweet Science Of Virality – You Are Bad At It

You are bad at Facebook. We are less bad at it than you. Also, the vast majority of your audience is probably on Facebook. (Unless you are Pinterest, but they are on Facebook too. Just sayin'.) You are probably not good at the sweet science of internet virality, that special concoction of optimization, finding or creating quality content, and then maximizing it's potential. We will teach you all our secrets to optimizing social media to drag traffic kicking and screaming back to your site.
Headlines, share images, vague descriptions, good content, and smart testing are a start. There is a science to virality. It's not as haphazard as you think.
So ALL ABOARD the interwebs science train!

Additional Supporting Materials

http://www.slideshare.net/Upworthy/upworthy-10-ways-to-win-the-internets

Questions Answered

Why must we spend time and effort on Facebook? What about Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and all the others?
Why do we have to focus on headlines and Facebook share images?
Do I have to have a bunch of celebrities in various states of undress on my site to get traffic numbers?
Tests? I thought I was done with tests after college? (A/B testing drives everything we do, and we are constantly wrong.)
Why do I have to change my website to share Facebook thingers better?